Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Pakistan to blame for black plague

COPENGHAGEN, 14 August: Danish scientists studying ancient rat corpses, preserved in an old bog discovered recently, have stumbled on a startling discovery. The rats appear to be carrying strands of cotton that are only found in Pakistan. "That suggests Pakistan was involved in the black plague," said Martin Sorensen from the Danish National Research Institute. The rats have been carbon-dated to be 500 years old. That would mean they lived around the time of the black plague, one of the darkest periods in Europe's history when bubonic plague, believed to have been carried by rats, killed half of the continent's population. "It's possible the ISI was behind the black plague, but the picture is incomplete," said Darrell Rimple from the RAND Corporation. "But that would be consistent with what Pakistan, and especially the ISI does. Of course, Afghanistan is a democratic country ruled by freedom-loving people and the US would never dream of covertly participating in activities that would lead to the deaths of many people," Rimple added. For James Ripper, a Pentagon spokesman, the equation is much simpler. "Iraq has turned out to be a bad investment. Sure there's oil, but there's just too many Iraqis above it. Iran isn't playing by the rules, it's not being belligerent enough... on the other hand Pakistan is just perfect. It's Muslim, it has nukes, and there's plenty of terrorists there," Ripper added. "We know that because most of them used to be on our payroll. Some of them still are."

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